Gaining Dependence

On Saturday night, I drove to my grandmother's house with an ice cream cake, a card, and some candy to take for my father's birthday celebration. As my 4'7" grandmother slowly opened the heavy wooden door in front of her to let me in, I asked, "How is the new roommate?"

She replied, "Oh, you know. I guess it helps that I know him pretty well."

And she showed me down to the basement, past the cobwebs she has neglected to wipe away and the stairs she hasn't swept in a long time, to where I could put the cake into a freezer full of food not touched since her husband passed away in 2003.

I came back upstairs and sat on the love seat when her roommate came downstairs and sat next to me. "Hey Dad, happy birthday," I said as I handed him the card and some candy that he threw into his mouth in handfuls.

So it turns out I am more of my father's daughter than I thought. On top of loving candy more than any finely-prepared meal, driving too fast and having a passion for the Beatles and Led Zeppelin, we now both live with our mothers.

No birthday present from the Russell family could top his gift from Uncle Sam: a social-security disability check long in coming. Although he's getting his due aid from the government now, he moved in with his mother not for the noble cause of taking care of her in her old age, but because he had been living on unemployment checks for at least the past two years. It seems the recession first hit the older, physically disabled, uneducated laborers first.

But we're in the same proverbial boat now, eliminating every expense we can. And is it really so costly to abandon one's pride in being independent in order to enjoy all the benefits, financial and otherwise, of regaining family life?